NOV 2016

Well It is all over bar the riots as the endless sewerage spill sloshes down the gutters outside the Whitehouse over the next four years. Sentiments still run savage like a hurricane called ‘Haemo’ through partisan veins. What fun!
Just a thought, why didn’t Chuck Norris join the fray, he’s a red-blooded Texan Republican, a saint, virtuous to the Nth and all things super and wouldn’t recognize a fine rack if they were resting on his nose. We are talking about the man who can hear sign language. When Chuck Norris was born, he cut and knotted his own umbilical. He once punched an unruly horse on the chin which created the giraffe. Chuck is the only man who can count to infinity – twice. He makes onions cry and Big Foot claims to have seen him. Chuck Norris makes Simon Cowell cower and he sleeps with a pillow under his gun. What better man to be President?
Oddly, the expected last minute putsch to save us all by Kanye West and Kim Kardashian didn’t materialise, but don’t worry four years will pass quite quickly and the next candidate holding agenda credentials will surface. Rumour has it that all forgiven OJ Simpson will stand; or at the other end of the scale – by a universe, the brilliant Stephen Hawking who is currently being groomed and his birth certificate forged. Up against them will be a one-legged lesbian midget of Hispanic and Inca descent who holds no birth certificate; who raped and murdered 10 people in self-defence; having obtained early release on compassionate grounds – that being she suffers with Downs’s syndrome, but nonetheless was once the Financial Controller of the Clinton Foundation. Betty, who we introduced last month, puts her money on the latter. After all, Lola is the only mentally and physically challenged lesbian left in the world without a job as the BBC and CNN have employed the rest.
What was the ethical difference between Hillary and Donald? Well it was like asking how one tells the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer. They simply taste different. A woman making suggestive remarks or jokes about a man or otherwise is considered perfectly acceptable, but for a man to strut his stuff as almost EVERY man has since the Big Bang, it becomes derogatory and OMG; ‘so offensive’. Help! Cried the vestal apocryphal virgins. I’m being objectified! There they were, thousands of unfortunately unattractive, dumpy ladies, full of silicon or Botox and walking adverts for Max Factor, bleating their disdain for this monster. Many skimpily dressed at that, sporting cleavages Brunel would be proud to build a suspension bridge across. ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all’? ‘Um…The Klu Klux Klan has vacancies’.
Such sick hypocrisy! What was Bill’s proposal line to Hillary? ‘YOU’RE WHAT?’ Someone should ask Hillary if she’s reached her fiftieth read through ’50 Shades of Grey’ yet.
PC yuckspeak has successfully turned Western Nations into wussies (in public anyway). The bloated catharsis set off the pathetic frenzy; they came out the woodwork by the bandwagon and the cesspit sucking media drove it home; richly glamourizing themselves first to go before the camera with their gutter shovelling credentials. ‘Don’t look at my well-packaged breasts but I might occasionally uncross my legs’. ISIS were denied airtime and the very loud bang off North Korea didn’t get a look in.
So proud is Hillary of her support group, such as despised mouth piece, well-fed fur trader Rosie O’Donnel, who desperately wishes she had a pair, who had the gall to constantly make disparaging remarks about Donald the downtrodden. O’Donnel isn’t, has never been, will never be remotely witty in any sense. However, another full-blown hypocritical mouthy comedienne, Canadian Samantha Bee, who certainly can be funny, gets her tirade against Trump well-publicized and then happily emulates him by clocking a gentleman’s wedding tackle and expressing wanton awe at the size. She says; ‘Look at the clackers on him, I could reach in and grab them! I bet they clack like a Newton’s cradle’. To ridicule her hypocrisy further, her show is called ‘Full Frontal’. Now what on earth does that imply? Stop Laughing Hillary!
Even richer than caviar coated molasses; Republican Terminator ‘I vill be bach’ Arnold Schwarzenegger, had the stallion sized cajones to come out against Trump, condemning his desirous dalliances when there are endless examples (some in video) of his own very grubby male prowess harassing the fairer sex. Probably on the same network.
America; you certainly are the land of opportunity. With the bowel movements of a giant wind farm slung at you day after day, it ‘aint fun being a Presidential Candidate, but their egos adore it. Trump’s ‘mandate’ was exactly that; ‘Me man – you date’ and he courted it, but Hillary perseveres with any notion of shame removed through lobotomy and an ego as big as the sun’s aura and gonads to match. Thick skinned? Well, contriteness just doesn’t compute. Even our very own David Bloomer or Ian Fisher couldn’t take that sort of critique without at least wincing just a little bit.