OLD MAN’S RANT – BAHRAIN THIS MONTH – OCTOBER 2016

In this month’s drivel, we introduce Betty. Betty is now the spokesperson for this column for many reasons; it’s to save one’s arse around these parts, being able to blame someone else for just about anything really; ‘He/she said it/did it, not me’. Betty exists, she is real and Betty has inadvertently become society’s barometer, an advocate of reason, a discerning light in the blind darkness which has descended upon the last few generations due to political manipulation. Another reason for Betty is that a ‘Pronoun’ is needed to garner simplicity and speed of composition; a first person in other words. It is a journalistic cakewalk, yet criminally discreditable and indeed inane to write in the first person as an article or report. It just depicts that ever spreading fatal infection of the ego overload ‘Pronoun Virus’. ‘I did’ – ‘I think’ – ‘I am’ – ‘I was’, as in the story line, as witnessed in the many (always left wing) columns in our daily rags. Besides, who gives a toss what ‘I’ thinks or ‘I’ does, such as endless talking heads on makeshift TV programmes?
So getting back to content; the Olympics over, and the American Presidential elections upon us. No! We’ve been down that road already and the candidate choices have so much baggage, it belies reality or further comment. Although, the most satirically funny and acceptable Social Media hate post to date was actually blogged by our own anti-Trump Gaffer (he who ‘proprietor-ates’ this ‘ere mag). ‘The only reason Donald Trump watches the Olympics is because he is assessing how high the Mexicans can jump’. Then there’s Hilary who is completely bereft of credibility for sooooooo many reasons. If you asked a thousand women in Washington if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, most would say; ‘Not again’! But never a squeak about it anymore from the media or her ladyship for that matter. The world is watching and those who have no right, no business, yet claim to be affected by American politics are spouting such irreverence against the nation itself assuming all this hate will destroy Trump, when he actually stands against the very PC issue which created this levelling and dumbing of society. The only nation we have heard zip all from is perhaps reserved Japan, but then the word ‘election’ comes as ‘erection’ in their accent and no doubt means the same thing; that some dick will rise to power.
It is all so bizarre and to the few, so blatantly obvious that indoctrination of the masses has been prevalent for decades by the sheer idiocy that so many need an idol, something to worship, to glorify and create heroes, no matter how decadent or depraved that hero might be. Charles Manson still gets love letters; there is an army of ill-informed, deluded Che Guevara worshipers out there with their chorus of approval which amounts to paying homage to a psychopath who glorified genocidal ideology. Hence the TV is full of Jerry Springer type garbage which the masses orgasm over – and MTV running endless videos of violent destruction and near kiddy porn. But hey, we can all distinguish between reality and art can’t we? The famous last words of the victims of ‘Natural Born Killer’ copycats.
The no respite ‘throw away’ society grows ever bigger. It’s like an alcoholic attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting for the first time; stands up and says; ‘Hi, my name is Bacchus and I have a problem’ (a witty tweet discovered deep in the dirge).

‘Your column is very Cryptic Geg’, says Betty. It’s a language thing darling and helps one avoid prison cuisine. ‘To digest your rants I sit privately reading over and over’. You are truly royal Mrs. B and incredibly gifted, but for many it’s merely an oxy-moronic discerning unawareness. As for that quiet place, it is said that ‘Hanebisho’ toilet paper is the only roll fit for such a botty. At $17 a pop who else could afford it? (“Pop”! No, it is not a spelling mistake).

Betty belongs to an extremely over-populous nation which has spread itself by the billion to every radius and soon the moon. Yet she makes profound statements. On European immigration; ‘To accommodate someone’s culture, one has to change their own’. In other words, bliss off back to whence you came and stop imposing on others, forcing often stifled ideology on the advanced because of self-insecurities. My God she’s a philosopher. She says of Western politics; ‘It’s all controlled, covert accident’. ‘Help, I can’t feel my legs’, said the mermaid. Betty is a protector, a sort of whistle-blower in her own right. Ironically her thoughts about the likes of say Julian Assange and Edward Snowden depicts them as incredibly brave as they are foolish. She is however very positive about the NSA (National Security Agency) – She tells us that it is the only government department that really listens to is people.