Write something about the migrant crisis in Europe was the order of the day from the Editor. Well that could be done using one word; ‘Excrescence’, said Donald Trump and a vast majority of around 400 million other folk who don’t want it but are silenced! OK, the end – satisfied?

Oh wait! Europe is hideously going to give Africa a couple of billion Dollars to entice immigrants to return home. No conflict of interest there then- cough! Excuse the pun, it’s all whitewash as media and Eurocrats still focus on Arabs, yet Arabs always go home and will without aid, even if oil dropped to $1 a barrel, it just means the shops on London’s Edgeware Road and Queensway will be empty for a while

Give billions to ‘who(m)’ exactly? With several countries within Europe on the bones of their arse financially, rumour has it all new Euros are being printed on Greece proof paper and that some countries within are so desperate for dosh they are answering Nigerian emails. Do taxpayers, already taxed for just breathing agree Mr. Illuminati?

If you promise not to sing Mr. Geldof, you can step in as accountant for the despots again. Quoting Geldof while scalding the BBC and Daily Mail: ‘Produce one shred of evidence that Live Aid money purchased guns!’ Um….er…. Bobby boy, no! You produce one shred of evidence that it didn’t and that food wasn’t being nicked by the shed load by scum bags while you got egotistically knighted. Ah but Bono, Sir Paul, Dido without an ‘l’ and all the usual luvvies will join in. All the way to Hollywood, this decadence blatantly awards itself ad nauseam within its closeted closed shop whereby they all blow smoke and praise the bejeezus out of each other at these glitzy shows of canker.

If you are reading this from afar, don’t you wish you lived in Bahrain? With ‘swarms’ having avoided drowning; now drowning Europe, the holocaust of freedom cometh. The official Fabian line and irony is that these (sectarian) people are running from violence but not the faith which is above everything and even demanding with audacity as if God’s own edict that they have a right to be there. Europe is drowning in appeasement also as alien protocol is forced upon the indigenous.

So what’s it all about? Note, this December issue is the ‘Gay Lords á Leepin’ edition so let’s get to the real nitty-gritty. Laugh all you like, for sure there is always an ulterior motive and one does suspect the entire ruling elite are bound by simple sordid sex as deviant and basic as that is. It is such a weird conspiracy nobody would associate immigrants with high-level deviance.

We all really know deep down that there is ‘nothing’ for free in this decrepit, ‘de-moralized’ and demoralized world where a TV programme or film cannot go more than a few minutes without debase profanity or ‘Brokeback Mountain’ content. ‘Homo On the Range’ (sing along now). It is all agenda in the extreme to garner acceptance.

This dilution of society is oppression and an obscene obsession with disproportionate privilege for the minority, fast becoming the majority. Many suspect it will not be long before the BBC and governments of Europe officially ban Christmas as offensive, replacing it with Gay Pride in antipathy. ‘I’m dreaming of a white mistress’ is definitely on the wane and one suspects most will be rubbing their grubby little hands together with a lure for the darker, hoping for new ‘trade’ and ‘friends of Doris’ among the mass flooding the EU; totally neglecting the need to have heterosexual stockings filled. Even Starbucks have forbade a stroke of white and suggestion that it snows in winter in the Northern Hemisphere by producing ‘simply red’ all over cups this Christmas. Why bother?

Yes, for those of us here, aren’t you glad you live in Bahrain?

Of course, ‘live and let live’ should be paramount and who cares what you do behind closed doors as long as it doesn’t physically hurt (unless one shops at the dyslexic Marks & Spencer store). One has to remain breathing a least. As with religion, nobody has the right to put one’s kinks above another, but crying the ‘offensive’ ticket for every little thing has got so out of hand, said the bishop!


Bahrain this Month – March issue 2015 (Page 176)


Opinions expressed in this column in no way reflect those of Santa Claus, the country, the magazine, the Editor, any particular company or anything you might find in the closet.

Everything gravitates to sea level when you hit the senior years except time. You slow down but the clock speeds up. More everyday things annoy the hell out of you. Even life in general is a struggle, like trying to heave oneself out of bed 50 times during the night. The pseudo carefree younger generation has no idea as they waltz through the days accepting and appeasing everything thrown at them, with us older folk baffled as to why. It is across the board from agenda indoctrination in the media to computers and Google googling your insides even behind closed doors.

The technology doesn’t really bother us, but the likes of say Sir William Gates does. He who with his software in the mid 80s found a legitimate way of inducing heart attacks, nervous breakdowns, chronic eczema and baldness in upwardly nubile young ladies. As the old adage goes; If Bill Gates had a cent for every time Windows crashed…. Oh Wait! He already has.

The almighty ‘Operating system software’ can be classified as a basic need these days as we cannot do without it. When it works, it is there to control our very existence in every way and who knows what is going on in the background?

Regrettably no software was injured during the construction of this epic, but if it was perfectly legal to seriously maim responsible programmers, Silicon Valley would quite likely be a serial killer’s paradise.

Unstable software has become a health hazard for us old ‘uns. Imagine some poor lonely old soul, orphaned at 50 and spouse no more, all alone in the world, his spirits perked up on a dating site and just as ‘Google’ condescends to find the perfect match – Windows crashes. As the late Joan Rivers describes romance in later life; ‘An affair of the heart is a bypass’,

Of course it is all Illuminati deciding everything for us. Stop laughing at the back. It is, they are everywhere! Be on the lookout for anyone in a space ship or something equally telling, they shouldn’t be hard to spot. Now seemingly meandering off the plot; This chap walks into a library and asked the librarian if she had any books on suicide. The librarian dismissed him immediately saying that they stopped lending them, because people were not bringing them back. Tasteless or not this joke is pure Illuminati and stems from a home grown original which was covertly removed from Facebook. ‘A civil servant walked into a library and asked if they had any books on the ‘Illuminati in Europe’. The librarian said; ‘Triangular Merkal’.

Not Illuminati? Did you know that many of the first few batches of the iPhone 5 were shockingly defective, yet nobody moaned and the world’s media stayed silent? Up to 8 million were quietly returned to Taiwan in early 2013 for re-engineering and the other 28 million of us suffered, having paid a small fortune only to experience the ‘no network’ syndrome and ‘Wi-Fi forget hell’. The world believed it to be our telecom provider on both counts. Worse still, the telecoms companies went along with it keeping their mouths well shut or be forced to replace thousands upon thousands of handsets which were handed out so-called free with packages. The iPhone 5S fixed the problem and Apple came out smelling of roses with no signs of blight. In fact, in true Illuminati format, Apple actually deflected any potential adverse publicity by announcing that their CEO was joyfully gay. Just sayin’….

Rumours abound that Google has reversed engineered Windows. Talk about ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ or ‘Wag The Dog’, it really is Hollywood come true and the Illuminati, now a massive conglomerate is obsessed with eyeballing you and clocking which soap you use in the shower. Smart TV? Ho Ho Ho! It is listening to your every word.

Bizarrely we are forced to tick the ‘AGREE’ button before we can even try the product and they have then got you by the short-cut and cursors. If you think this is actually fraud, then join the club. Oops! Not a good turn of phrase

There is a toothless army of dissatisfied, frustrated folk out there who know the operating system software is defective at sale, but can do absolutely nothing about it. Sure it loads, it runs – sort of, exasperating us old codgers to the point of violence. Macs are generally the more stable of the two staple options, but don’t hold your breath; Apple has gotten away with some blinders too as mentioned above.

It’s Murphy’s Law in a box and our precious lives ebbing away. We just don’t have time for this. Every day we endure those constant imposing updates which drive you crazy as we endlessly wait for the computer to switch off or even start now. It is always when you are in a rush but you fear stopping the process in case it screws something up or worse, fire breaking out if you leave it because of the cheap Chinese fans in the cheap Chinese case, not to mention taking up our costly bandwidth in gigabytes. Like a bad romance, Windows is also quite capable of hanging just on the stroke. This ritual continues until the new software version comes out which we are all forced to pay premium for again and again and the whole palaver repeats itself. ‘The Hills have Eyes’ is less of a horror story. Seriously, if a car manufacturer or any other industry for that matter sold a defective product, then a recall would be ordered or a refund, but not anything under the control of the Illuminati.