The March of the Snowflakes
13th July 2018
“THE MARCH OF THE SNOWFLAKES”
A comment zooming by among the thousands of pro Trump remarks flashed upon the screen as the Daily Express covers the utter waste of life and time in Parliament Square today. However, to follow, ney believe the main-stream media, the entire country, down to the last man, women, cat and dog is in lynch mob mode.
Proud to be a ‘Remainer Snowflake’???????
Democracy has certainly become ‘all Greek’ to most it seems as it loses its way ever more deeper each passing month.
Lots of questions need answering, the least being; ‘How come so many people are not in work this Friday’?
This is far too orchestrated to be real, the same sad anti Brexiteer losers and no doubt unemployed or unemployable with nothing better to do than clutch at straws when not so sub-consciously they know the tide is really turning and their near 40 years reign of decadence and wanton depravity on such a large scale is beginning to crack and badly. Again, 90% still oblivious to the fact that 3 generations have been utterly nobbled.
You will not hear the media taking sound bites from Pro Tumpeteers, but they somehow manage to find the ‘WE BRIGADE’ as if blanket consensus across the nation, which of course is utter bollocks – and Trump is right. Britain anxiously awaits its own Trump, but 98% are scared witless to speak out still. In fact, most who actually like Trump will invariably start their sentence with; ‘I don’t really like the man, but……..” It is all forced psychology of indoctrination by law. Intimidated to the extreme, we are afraid to be seen as individual of thought. Individuality is perceived these days as all ego and self harmed, crude lunatics who jangle as they spout clichèd rhetoric and given a job on the BBC or Channel 4.
The Lowest Common Denominator, from zero creativity, endless rap, to political parrots.
Not that my own pronoun ‘I’ has even a quark of value in size when it comes to relevance or influence, but for lack of a better pronoun; ‘I’ never was enamoured by Donald J. Trump as such. Just a savvy businessman who could fail and rise again, so he must have some nous. Like many, or indeed most now, he astounded me with his succinct perceptions, which just made me think he was so ordinary, a real person and the complete antipathy to the putrid politicians we are manipulated to endure.
I remember 30 odd years ago, dealing with a rather sour Bahraini businessman of huge riches, when I sought sponsors for a section in my radio programme. It was a lean period and a bit of desperation setting in, he offered way below the reality rate to the extent it was beyond an insult and he knew that, but didn’t care. He fully expected me to accept the deal because of who he ‘thought’ he was, saying; ‘Take it or leave it’. Then I remembered Donald Trump saying something poignant while being interviewed about his plans for some venture in the UK. He said; ‘Never be afraid to say NO when negotiating a deal’. Never forgot it and have used that philosophy ever since.
Observing Trump now, watching how he reacts to the very obvious perverse media and the indoctrinated flock is just heaven. The more they attack, the more he so cleverly rides them to the extent that now, this insignificant ‘I’ at least believes the man is naturally gifted with great intelligence or simply well ahead of us all by animal like instinct.
‘Crowd Funded’ – how apt! 25,000 pounds raised to build a very childish (not only literally) plastic balloon? Good game, whatever next! Well so far, double that has been raised to manufacture a Sadiq Khan emblem, but you wont hear the media tell you about that. Besides, a rather hideous and indeed baby level retort, surely the money going towards disaster, medicine or a thousand other good causes would be far more constructive.
Imagine a protest like that: ” I am donating 50 pounds to cancer in protest at Trump’s visit to the UK’. Might start a new trend…
MPs bitterly complaining to any camera with such duplicity that The Donald has insulted us. Lamentable indeed. Oh really! That is beyond neh neh neh neh neh pathetic. Well, it is not difficult to insult any single politician these days is it, but they forget that for more than 2 years now, the man has endured endless vile bile from these clothed savages for simply ‘Saying it as it is’.
They just cannot take it. Their toys are being taken away from them slowly but surely. Same for those reading this who just cannot get over it, so resort to the same old collective ‘WE’ bile in every sentence as in speaking for everyone, while deploring those who were actually voted in to speak for us.
‘Not my President’…. my arse.,. He is!
THE VERY LAST OLD MAN’S RANT – NOVEMBER 2017
Forward:
An explanation is now required. This is the magazine article which got me banned. I no longer write for said magazine. In the news, is the blatant obsession America currently has with sexual nuance and overtones. Plainly obvious is the relished embellishment which the media who carry the stories and the teller of, appear to almost get some sort sexual pleasure out of being the apparent victim as they reveal details, many decades after the so-called incident occurred. To top that, the credibility of an ego drenched actress is to say the least suspect. Before brandishing a poker in soaked Political Correct anger at the writer, try and drop the martyrdom first and look through the haze. A crime is a crime and sexually related crimes should see some sort of clinical retribution if proven. Rape (though often hard to prove) invariably entails violence thus the perpetrator breaks two laws – the death penalty is too good for them. Sexual harassment is a sickness no matter which way it manifests itself. Cultural backwardness, sociopathic or just vanity and desire, no matter, it must be severely dealt with. However, circumstances cannot be hearsay, those facts the affected bleat must indeed be factual and here lies the rub. Did anyone die, was violence used? Money and fame is a very coercive force, it is not criminal.
Despite the likes of the main-stream media propagating obsessive homosexuality and now working very hard to promote paedophilia and normalize it, as they indoctrinate their Millennial sheep; it is deemed thoroughly inappropriate to make say a paedophile joke. This is utter hypocrisy to protect the shady. ‘Thus duth protestuth too muchuth’. Victims are victims, it is a very sad fact of life, but the entire world is not to blame. Empathy, sympathy, compassion where it is due, but life goes on creating more victims no matter how offended some might be. The dark side of all this is that victims are being victimized by this ‘Common Purpose’ – Fabian cult who manipulate and indoctrinate and thus are perpetrators by their actions. The truth is, their manifesto champions perpetrators while diminishing all rights to the true victim. To combat critique and smoother this abominable doctrine, they create ‘the offended’. It is so hard to see through it if one grew up in it.
Having been asked to make ‘Harvey’ the subject of the month, the writing is tongue in cheek as they are all supposed to be, however it was deemed offensive by one Millennial daughter, who spoke up for ‘all those poor actresses’ who ostensibly suffered so greatly at the hand or hands of Harvey Weinstein. This is the power of Political Correctness gone absolutely mad. One deluded voice can frighten a nation if it pulls the race or offense card.
The article:
The pathetically frustrated media fruitlessly trying to destroy The Donald obviously needed a new news-worthy stool pigeon; ‘Oh hello Harvey! What a nice bathroom you have, that’s an odd-looking loofah you’re holding’, said the actress. What a filthy Shrek he turned out to be.
Call we rare, cynical reality gems old fashioned and merely sceptical, but how strange is it that all these women now coming forward are or were wanna-be famous actresses? Ostensibly in the name of ‘art’ those same moaning thespians whose distended egos are so desperately prepared to nakedly simulate a good rogering with more suspiciously accurate moaning, in full HD on our screens hourly. With obscene hypocrisy they now come out in their droves, to garner even more ego drenched publicity, by hammering Weinstein, the very man they courted to get the part. Fame without shame. Darling, how far were you prepared to go, casually flaunting your bottom cheeks with a such a tight-fitting G-string so far up the Khyber as cruelly painful as a carthorse’s mouth bit’?
Society is very sick. We now have the stalwart 1950’s BBC “RADIO” play ‘The Archers’, depicting homosexuals french kissing with gross slurpy mouth made sound effects. We have explicit language and sexual connotation in everything from the ‘Shopping Channel’ to the ‘Muppets’. We have every single twerking and writhing pop video displaying teenage debauchery. We have schools in the UK and the USA building toilets for trans and so-called latest craze ‘liquid’ gender kids, plus homosexuality utterly romanticized in the school classrooms for 5-year olds with never a mention of the unnatural messy enema. Top that with adolescent boys allowed to wear dresses in class and undecided 8-year-old girls lovingly donning strap-ons so as not to be discriminated against. And you thought smoking in the toilets at school was bad.
As it is, nobody from ‘normality’ has popped up claiming; ‘Harvey made me perform oral sex, threatening me with a blunt dildo held to my throat’. This is society as it is in the 21st Century and as always was in 20th Century Fox. Yet boisterous Harvey still lives in the 70s when ‘free love’ and penicillin came gratis and soap was something one used only for lubrication. Meanwhile Hilary Clinton still blames the Russians for Bill’s endless indiscretions. Oddly, if some guys came out screaming; ‘Harvey buggered me in the barn after promising a gay part in the follow up to “Brokeback Mountain – Homo on the Range”, it would be supressed.
Murder, violence, rape, paedophilia; none of it is remotely funny and this column has no issues permanently terminating the guilty, however, when all is said and done, jokes pertaining to it are often hilarious so lighten up – oh, unless you happen to be the victim of course, but that applies to life’s challenges full stop and no amount of forced PC will ever change cruel human nature.
Next, of the 2 million women Hugh Hefner claims to have wanged, half will claim ‘assault’. His estate must be worth a lie or two. What the hell is the difference between luvvie Hefner and Weinstein other than a red dressing gown and the size of their etchings? A brilliant pun and thoroughly hilarious, was ‘The Onion’s’ headline: ‘Officials investigating Hugh Hefner’s death suspect foreplay’. If English is your mother tongue then you are now rolling on the floor peeing yourself with absolutely no offence taken, despite speaking ill of the dead
‘I was made to watch him shower’ spews Ashley Judd. Um…er.. just how was that achieved Ash? You are the victim here, please show us the dastardly rope burns of the bondage which held you there. Then there’s the Italian actress who we have never heard of, maintaining that she was forced to perform trumpet practice on Weinstein’s chosen instrument, describing it as ‘onanistic’. My God, that’s a big word for a 21 year old, or she can’t spell ‘organ’
Sadly or deluded, we know in full denial the rich and famous and abhorrent politicians know no bounds when it comes to sexual pleasure at any age (one suspects). Sir Jimmy Saville on the other hand didn’t care if his assault victim was breathing or not and the entire hierarchy of the BBC and much of government were well aware, thus indeed complicit, so knighted him. That my friends is worthy of the death penalty, just to rid the earth of such deviance. But then the House of Lords would look a little too empty perhaps.
‘Harvey Weinstein claims it was a mistake to assault a dozen women. That’s not a mistake, that’s a whole season of “Law and Order Special Victims Unit”’ spews a comedian. A funny line, but the boilers come out the woodwork, ooooing and aaahing; with their clichéd offended diatribe as if victims themselves and the media milk it.
There are so many millions who really do suffer horrendous, heinous abuse in this warped world, which is totally appeased by the very same disingenuous lizard activists, depraved politicians and chameleon ego maniacs called showbiz
OLD MAN’S RANT – No. 28 – MAY 2017
OLD MAN’S RANT – No.28 MAY 2017
‘Dag the wog’, with Spoonerism beauty utters Betty our now revealed source of sourness. But then again, she is dyslexic or she’d write her own column. On agreeing that ‘Wag the Dog’ is very much a reality right now, and by the way they’ve found a cure for dyslexia, she says’ ‘Well that’s music to my arse’.
Well, if nothing else, we’ve always been well ahead and pretty much spot on in this column even if that ‘epiphany’ moment never quite reaches a climax. Of course, rather than read it, many would rather administer mouth to mouth on a dying cockroach, but hey!
In absolute denial, the stud clad, dope smoking programmed masses have gone completely delirious and now regurgitating media scaremongering with ‘World War III’ chants. ‘Oh poor despotic North Korea’, or any other totalitarian murderous state; ‘Trump is such a bully’, they cough up like an owl pellet (Trump had no idea). Nation after nation gather in swooning awe and blindly elect wannabe dictators, crooks or imbeciles (and it was a close shave with Hillary). Don’t forget, Hitler was ostensibly ‘voted’ into power. The ‘sheeple’ who allow themselves to be manipulated by these – um… ‘elected charlatans’ are far and wide and they all suffer from ‘Thought constipation’. Yes, a cull is necessary but how we ‘legally’ do that is debatable. Educational reform is contaminated, so let’s perhaps experiment with a new herbal remedy that ‘clears’ one’s mind. Test rats display remarkable genius after ingesting the ominous and very popular flower ‘Clitoria Ternatea’ which is now in full bloom. On viewing the flower, many might yearn to take it orally post haste, though the less perverted simply make tea with it or possibly smoke it. It’s very easy to fathom what Darwin was thinking when he first named it. Well the essence of this ‘Asian pigeonwings’ (Darwin pea) has an ‘Antihyperglycemic’ effect; which not only shifts constipation, it has beneficial organ supplements too. Hmmm!
This unforgivable, out of control, agenda soaked, media causes most of the world’s stupidity -and the ludicrously left, gay, Fabian, debauched (did we miss anything?) BBC, CNN et al are frightening the living crap out of their flock with the imaginary apocalypse. Oh don’t worry and no need to don your tin helmets yet, for suddenly, after a bout of flu, nuclear breasted Kim Kardashian, wearing skin tight nothing is spotted leaving her house riding, or more like smothering a rather tiny camel. At least 40 kilos appears to have shifted from her waist to her well-rounded buttocks – and suddenly there’s not a care in the world – war over, peace and tranquillity reigns. To top that, Bill O’Reilly was pushed from Fox News, so the luvvie brigade were on fire. CNN headlined that story faster than a cheetah with diarrhea. Serena Williams discovered she was 52 weeks pregnant and she nor anybody else noticed. Then to keep North Korea out of the picture indefinitely, Illuminati shepherd Beyonce, or ‘Bey’ to her sheep (puke), is also 5 minutes away from the drop zone and Maria Carey was seen swaying in as wet-nurse. This tranquillity will ensue until after the British elections, so you still have time to empty supermarket shelves and build an underground shelter and fill it with canned baked beans and rice.
Even the glut of ‘United’ jokes didn’t stop the saber rattling. Sadly, the American media would not have appreciated one of the funniest slaps at the airline, that being a ‘Ryan Air’ crew trying to drag a passenger ‘onto’ one of their planes. Talk about ‘Stretcher seats’ now in United economy, which is worse; a Chinaman being dragged off a 70 seat Embraer 170, or you sardined into a Far Eastern equivalent crammed with 140 seats in the same space? The average sized European man emerges from a Chinese flight speaking in a very high voice and completely sterilized.
Maybe we should just drop all this political piss-taking and just create our own TMZ type column depicting Bahrain’s privileged. You can image the editorial from our jail cell:
“There it was, the elite of Formula 1 displaying copious drool as the glamour of Naomi Campbell strutted the paddock having voluntarily not eaten since March – along with Enrique packing a garden hose. Those with more skeletal wallets only managed the brilliantly perfect Tom Jones concert just beforehand. Thoughtful organizers installing substantially large fans right of stage to parachute flying objects away from the artist, thus avoiding any parliamentary antagonism. Ex Radio Bahrain DJs could be seen mingling with the estrogen set desperately trying to persuade them to part with their panties; only this time so they could pointlessly throw them at Jones. All this excitement and nobody noticed another 80s movie star Linda Lovelace who was in Bahrain judging a sausage contest just down the road”.
Talking of which, let’s not forget the imminent demise of Radio Bahrain in our imaginary showbiz rag. It has been easier to sell time-share on the moon than effective advertising on that for the past 20 years. No surprise, for understanding sign language or brail is a breeze compared to the on-air verbal dyslexia we endure these days. Yes, A TMZ Bahrain might have merit.
OLD MAN’S RANT – No. 26 – March 2017
Politics lends itself to such ridicule unless of course you live in the Gulf then it’s best not to put anything in writing. Not that you will ever get an answer even if you did, but you might get a knock on the door. Politicians who get paid extremely well for doing so little leave themselves wide open to ridicule, so why not pillory them? Unlike The Donald, Obama was schooled in the American version of Oxford, so the influence is much the same and it totally controls all political thinking from LA to London and no doubt the Bosphorus. It is the ‘PPE graduate’ from Oxford University and the reality is that those holding it, hold high positions everywhere. Not a single grad. having this esteem power has any idea whatsoever as to what it actually means. Nigel Farage of the UK Independent party (UKIP) has the closest understanding when he refers to it as “PPE BOLLOCKS”.
Oddly, Obama’s version allowed a sense of humour which must have gone against the grain somewhat. There is not much else to laugh about in the real world these days as most of it is against the PC imposed law. If sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, then stop peeing your pants at some of the occasional chuckle lines in this column or you will be deemed a racist. No more mimicking accents, no more cultural observations – if you didn’t watch Harry Potter, you are Nazi, if you thought Lord of the Rings was a gay bar- you are ‘offensive’. If we dare to look at a fat person and cringe or pretend we are not colour blind, then you get arrested. You cannot make fun of the uneducated (when it is wholly self-inflicted) and you can’t tell a joke like; A hillbilly is going through the formalities opening a savings account at the bank and the teller mentions ‘interest’. The hillbilly says; ‘Hush now, y’all gonna git me in trouble agin’. Or; ‘There wuz only room fer one on the tractor, so I lit me Ma – and sister drive’.
Now the Trump onslaught………… just joking….. we’ll get back to that later. Let’s probe the hypocrisy we are all forced to live by should the burgeoning anti-PC revolution fail.
What is an oxy-moron? Life? Nope! That is an ‘oxymoron’. An oxy-moron relates to bozos who dictate life to us the moment they leave Oxford. The oxymoron of ‘life’ means ‘death’ – for sure (at some stage). Some may have noticed that we stay dead a very long time and nobody has ever come back to dispute such wisdom; not that we know of. Um… let’s not get into religion here with a barrage from the devout protesting that ‘on the third day’ and so on. Pap, repetitious monkey see, monkey do media and amateur advertising is so often riddled with oxymoron. ‘Your call is important to us’ iteration and irritation. ‘Our staff care about you’. The falseness of it contradicts the sentence. ‘No animals were harmed during the testing of our products’ by the makers of the best microwave ovens in the world.
For a start, the very actions of those masked or curtain rail Fascists rioting in the name of protest, while calling non-conformists morons for not towing the indoctrinated Fabian line is the current most worrying oxy-moron. Yes, we know that so many campus professors fit this bill with their condescending approach to us all if we don’t follow their deluded intellectual thesis.
The British Government and indeed the BBC are both an an oxy-moron and an oxymoron. THE BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION. What is British now? It is diluted identity, levelling to the lowest common denominator. One could be forgiven for assuming it is the Voice of Africa or India or something, spewing it’s rather unsavoury, indeed Fascist Left-Wing doctrine to the world, flavoured by gayness. For some absurd reason, it is common knowledge and ostensibly fully accepted by society that the BBC houses an inordinate number of homosexuals, disabled, ineloquent and sadly a noticeable palate of considerably ugly presenters, who are given priority over perfectly gracious, good-looking, well-heeled, hetro indigenous. It is certainly the antipathy of Fox News, if one excludes Sheppard Smith that is! (Oh, you are confused? Look it up! If it is on the Internet it must be true).
Factually, many BBC (and several others) presenters are incapable of picking up English mother-tongue nuance, so unaware read out and regurgitate as they blindly follow the closet format. Each mimics what they think is the kosher delivery, convinced the world is desperately hanging on to their every BBC word as they wave their hands about like a deranged sign language impersonator, or a distressed sailor frantically using ‘semaphore’ to warn you a large albatross is about to crap on your head. A devilish news editor could have a field day with ambiguous scripts, full of double entendre and it would all get read out, just as it does in Bahrain with presenters none the wiser. It happens – take note! In BBC land, a story about a ‘cock fight’ in Thailand has nothing to do with chickens. We now have to say ‘cheers’ when making a toast as the old fashioned ‘bottoms up’ might lead to an orgy in their corridors.
Imagine an interview on the ‘Travel Programme’ which is so often hosted by a dreadlock clad rather pleasing fellow who happens to be black and confined to a wheelchair; quite possibly practicing backgammon, sporting the diction of a welder; whereby if the BBC can wiggle in something about homosexuality, even with the remotest association – they will. ‘Yeah, my parents are going to India for meditation and sexual enlightenment’. Curious as to where in India the reporter asks; ‘Mumbai’? ‘Yes’ says the guest; ‘Both my mum and dad are’. (It will take you a few moments to absorb that; don’t worry, you are not alone).
The British nation has itself been oblivious to it for decades and even pay for it like a porn channel. Like a religion, it is all around, but one suspects people are eventually waking up to it now. Trump… (Ok, that’s only twice we mention him this month) as with his upcoming European counterparts (as fanaticized by the corrupt media) one could hopefully see ‘normality’ re-emerge. It will be wonderful to rub it in their faces – said the actress to the bishop.
OLD MAN’S RANT – BAHRAIN THIS MONTH – MAY 2016
A couple of worrying earthquakes, a Fly Dubai pilot error plane crash and the Oscars. It was a boring month for the Marxist media after the preceding months of plenty when Paris and Belgium were under attack and its everyone else’s fault. Headline news; ‘U2 Cancels Paris Concert’. Thankful for small mercies in such heinous times, ‘Paris Had Suffered Enough’ without that prat Bono adding his little red book philosophy. Bored out of their pseudo bolshie Trotsky wits Chris Rock almost lit the media up for the most innocuous and inane of remarks but rumour is he’s black and underprivileged and one of their luvvie boys anyway, so tread carefully. Other than that, we are led to believe that no one in Europe, UK or USA, made not even one racist remark, nor did we hear of a migrant being shot, so it was very quiet all round and utopia reigns. What mosques burning in Sweden are you talking about or the massive brawls between Syrians and Afghanis breaking out everywhere? How dare you suggest that our fair and balanced media are selective and manipulative with what they report?
Then the ‘Panama Papers’ upheaval. Someone you know or you know someone that knows someone who has an offshore stash and so what! This palaver is nothing more than a rather pathetic grab at any little thing to create division and champion this sea of so-called underprivileged. It is the hypocrisy of the polarized Left condemning dosh stashed abroad which they feel they should have having done nothing for it. Who wouldn’t invest tax-free if they could? It’s a bit like asking a native if they have ever been car-jacked at gunpoint in South Africa? Maybe not, but they will know someone who knows someone who knows someone who has been.
Those that have avoided tax will probably list a couple of million reasons why they did it anyway. One strong motive might be that If you have a few bob to spare why should you be forced to plough it back into a heavily laden immigrant society or warped socialist ideology which constantly hands out unending payments to the mindset who believe they are entitled to it just because you have money and they don’t! Dole hacks and breeders whose numbers increase by the coefficient of the number of penises in the neighbourhood every nine months. It is a dilemma, because the same politicians and party members think in parallel, having absolutely no compunction about spending ‘someone else’s’ money in order to court those masses purely to feed their ego and the subsequent vote and membership to the ‘Leg Over Club’. Eventually this growing blob will even overpower the offshore banks as the coefficient becomes so large that times ‘X’ equals an ever increasing minus figure.
Who the hell cares about what’s innocently in Panama? Get to the source of the funds if laundering; do something constructive and beneficial to law and order, not hit dudes who are just looking for a nifty savings account which the bloated socialists demand ‘give me – me – me’.
However, drives to bring the government down like this are expected from the least read Guardian ruled BBC, but it is a shock really to note that the once conservative Telegraph has stooped to poop. There’s something to be said for the tabloids, with page 3 and boobs in your porridge which is frankly better than all this endlessly vile and trivial posturing which is nothing more than sour grapes. Can we get back to; reports like in the ‘Gypsy Gazette’ such as; ‘Chap has vasectomy, thinking it would stop his wife getting pregnant, but all it did was change the colour of the baby’. Stories about incest are now ‘relatively’ boring so they don’t make headlines anymore either.
Yes, it is all very selective! One must ask the question; if luvvie J K Rowling had parked a few of her billions in an offshore tax haven of which she might well have, would the public chastise her? Of course not since she is worshipped by millions of ‘strange’ people who derive phenomenal pleasure from incomprehensible fairy tales. Among this odd bunch there is an army of seat sniffers competing to furnish her (pun) with even more millions just to buy the chair she apparently sat on while writing the Harry Potter series. Why else? Would the same number of enthusiasts buy David Cameron’s office chair? No! But exactly what is the difference?
What a score Cameron was for Corbyn, known to those close as Richard Head. ‘Gottcha’! Not really, but his victim speaks with an undetectable English dialect delivered grammatically perfect, so he must be bad. Sure, the Oxbridge lot deserve all they get when they lodge together like Illuminati gravity, but sometimes they are obliviously innocent.
Besides, who actually likes David Cameron? The likes of the ‘Huffington Post’ or ‘New York Times’ would protect Obama and his endearing treacle oozing weaknesses even if he was a Mafia hit man laundering zillions. It seems to be only Britain’s ridiculously bitter crony filled pseudo-intellectual media who loathe anything entrepreneurial and realistic.
Imagine, Sir Elton John and his side-back-kick David Furnish having funds out there? They have ostensibly been cavorting in a swimming pool of olive oil with other like-minded friends only to successfully have the media gagged about the exploit. The main essence of the story being Furnish’s huge unstoppable diamond cutter like boner as he recounted to someone his WD40 moment of the ménage à trois, but no mention of any funds in Panama so nothing to write about.
SOAP BOX FOR THE OLD NO. 7 – AUGUST 2015
[As featured in Bahrain This Month August 2015]
Bless buxomly Politically Correct good old U.S. of A which still celebrates experience and allows the very old to keep their jobs until they drop. Veteran radio broadcasters are propped up daily; TV announcers might get cosmetic surgery allowance, unlike the BBC who keep the ancient on for other reasons Jimmy; ask Rolf. Fly any American airline and you’ll be forgiven for thinking (the late) Cayetana Fitz is pushing the trolley. Flying to Kuwait recently, there was a party atmosphere on board as the youngest member of the crew celebrated her 70th birthday. Passengers are taught CPR in case they need to resuscitate the crew and all died happily ever after. Working relics maybe, but it makes us proud!
This column has previously covered the notion that some upstarts in today’s political arena across Britain and Europe wish to intangibly exterminate old people. It is not some organized secret plot to gas us all or anything like (allegedly), but a desire to put us out to pasture in that great abstract concentration camp in the void by removing our vote and critique. ‘The Village of the Damned’ is not a patch on the reality and the older among us are shocked at the controlled, adverse, fascist liberalism which has subliminally besieged nations in the last few decades with none now allowed to question or dare say mock it humorously or otherwise.
Let’s consider all things deemed ‘offensive’ nowadays – cultural stabs unacceptable, Irish jokes no longer kosher; gay jokes criminal. This generation of weirdo Fabians now curtailing society’s freedoms and gagging every utterance have not as yet condemned Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, claiming it offensive to infertile women or impotent men who have no kids, but it is coming. Old folk are still good for a hit, but there really are only two main-stream avenues of humour, one is sexual or crude, the other considered racist. Grandma has no idea what you are talking about when you tell a dirty joke, if you even dare, while Granddad’s still trying to lip read. Young people have a burning question for senior citizens and that is; ‘Do you still do it’? Well go ahead and ask any old couple if they have sexual relations and the most likely response would be; ‘I think we do, but we haven’t heard from them in years, they are probably dead’; like the gist of the question. Feigned pseudo offense is now endemic for the smallest slight. Gladly, Bahrainis couldn’t give a rat’s nipple and tell some crackers. With culture and language entwined, oddly, some large nations appear to be near humourless. Nonetheless, appeasement will win the day and humour will be removed from society. With its rapidly changing façade, one suspects Canada will be the first without realising it, dismissing the notion that Germany has already acquired such sophistication.
These days the ancient among us are confused when pre-emptive apologies spew forth before someone tells a joke. Racist jibe is endemic across cultures but Fabians choose denial. Societies can still legally tell jokes about themselves, but many refute jibes from others because that is considered ‘racist’ never mind the only difference being the post code. Some jibes are hilarious but old codgers over 70 don’t understand. Ask your granddad why he should be very nervous of a white man in prison; he’d just look dumfounded at you. ‘So why’? ‘Well you know for sure he did it! Such sarcasm is still legal but not if the other way around. But then, it wouldn’t be funny would it?
More than half the world is not so liberal and as much as the BBC and their clones have pushed it down our throats so to speak, still older folk don’t refer to homosexuals as being ‘gay’; this hijacked word used in this context is double Dutch to them, so old Joe inadvertently and ‘innocently’ breaks the law by casually introducing his gay friend as being ‘batty’ or a ‘jobby jabber’. Likewise, with so many ‘fashionably outted’ lesbians in parliaments across Europe and Britain and indeed now heading up big industry, sporting a Windsor knot , heaven forbid a Green Party member peddling her way to work and being referred to as a ‘dyke on a bike’. That would surely mean prison, albeit it being said in blissful ignorance.
Still, reminiscing the old now banned Alf Garnett days or ‘It ‘Aint Half Hot Mum’, is all one has really when age cripples, because nothing is ever going to get physically better and utopia pure fantasy – as with sexual prowess. But joke about old age is still legal? A wife asking her husband to be romantic again and to give her those old love bites of ownership she once protested were unsightly; so hubby agrees and goes to the bathroom to get his teeth.
OLD MAN’S RANT – APRIL 2015
Page 201
Bahrain this month April 2015
SOAPBOX FOR THE OLD AND GUMPY 3
Spoiler warning: The following article contains flash photography and an authentic sense of humour embodied with language which many who have lost touch with reality will find offensive. Furthermore, the risk of triggering bouts of Jeremy Clarkson syndrome for those affected is quite high
Don’t you just love living in Bahrain where Political Correctness has as much presence as a Casper in a bacon factory here. Bahrain is the classic Hotel California; ‘You can check out any time, but you can never leave’. Utterances like; ‘How dare you’ and ‘apologize now’ are as rare as unicorn dung and you are going nowhere with it even if you try. So for the PColics, here’s an apology before you palpitate; ‘Sorry, you are in Bahrain and you love it. Get over it – now’.
It confuses the life out of expatriates of the appeasement generation who have elsewhere collectively dominated not only what we say, but how we must appease, live and act among each other. A particular flare up issue is and always will be the imported and imposed cultures; those who in principle leave their unhappy, often violent homesteads to pursue a better life in the west, but through bloated Political Correctness are allowed to create what they left behind in the new paid for home. ‘No problem’ reads the flyer; just make sure you vote Socialist. Wait! Sit down, take some water, you are having a Jeremy Clarkson reaction already.
Is it ok to carry on now?
So you have arrived on these shores and are initially horrified by the total disregard for sensitivities other than religion but have somehow fallen in love with the place. A conundrum as Radio Bahrain’s Mr. Fisher would put it and Christopher Hitchens a self-proclaimed Marxist, Neo Conservative (no confusion there then) and polemicist – expounded as to how depressed he was. Even he couldn’t fight his own doctrine. Confused he says; ‘Living in a country where you can be told “That’s offensive” as if those two words constitute and argument’.
While Da’esh physically and terminally wipe priceless artefacts off the earth, limp ‘Peeceeuraucrats’ as far afield as Alaska have engaged in apocalyptic paternalism for the past 40 years or more (Look it up). This culminates in the abstract removal of one of life’s greatest arts, by actively suppressing any form of laughter as they attempt to eliminate all traces of the once upon a time intangible hormone called ‘a sense of humour’, simply because it is deemed offensive to someone somewhere; known or unknown, close by or maybe 50,000 light years away, or even dead. ‘They’ have near succeeded too, judging by the number of trolls out there.
Clarkson’s antics, hype or real has started a colossal world opinion war which could be the obtuse catalyst for a physical revolution. The BBC chocolate box boss says with naïve brainwashed, privileged but amateur confidence; ‘No individual is bigger than the show’. Oh really sir and on which piece of Marxist Fabian parchment does it support that? In this case Mr. Luvvie might consider calling his favourite chiropractor to help him extract his head from behind his belly button. And if Jonofon Roff gets the job it would be a war crime.
It is strikingly obvious; UK and Europe in particular are a mess with a massive volcano about to erupt, as missionary statements commanded by this now echelon of society are being challenged. Forcibly by law ‘they’ have dictated speech content using a viral language called ‘clichéd rhetoric’ in response to anyone who starts a sentence with the words; ‘I think’.
Despite the plethora of peroxide blondes on Fox News never having wanted to master ‘clichéd Rhetoric’, the unearthly profusion of closet members at the BBC are extremely fluent in it. Ask yourself, why did Esperanto fail? Because words like ‘foreign’ (eksterlandaj) and ‘obese’ (graso bastardo) were just too long
The echelon, ‘they’ have successfully been forcing equalization and drabness upon us, even degrading exam standards so as not to offend the dopey. With droves of ‘clichéd Rhetoric’ speakers in tow; mouthpieces like the BBC and newspapers such as The Guardian, Independent, Huffington Post and a good few more, literally ‘speak for us all’. Megalomaniac egos overpower reason, with a desire to neutralize the voter base, in other words make us all totally indistinguishable from each other. You know the rules; do not profile at a crime scene or airport. Vanquish all thoughts that this person might be different because they have a beard or wear tribal like clothes and enforce colour blindness on everyone. Damn Clarkson.
Here’s a simple tip to detect ‘they’ when being subliminally nobbled. Every time you listen to a radio advertising message, promotion, current affairs presenters and now so-called entertainers, be conscious of the voice and demeanour. It is almost like it is one voice or clone of for all now; this incessant sickly, girly sing song replica of that BBC pop channel implant, spewing out insincere happiness. The liberally infected ‘Pronoun Virus’ ever present as she hangs words at the end of every sentence. Je suis all ‘WE’. If not her, then it is an equally effeminate male (we think) with a lisp, doing much the same. The Star Gate is somewhere in the Meteorological Office. Whoops! Severe Clarkson moment. Doctor!!! Plus, clock the clothes, particularly the BBC presenters. The female species so often wear vibrant blue or bright yellow and is as significant as a bird mating ritual. Blokes removing ties would be just too much for now, so wear pink for the same reason and red for allegiance. They even have the gall to wear arm bands if Bono from U2, Paul McCartney or Bob ‘Comfortably Numb’ Geldof strike up a cause. It is all so incestuous and closed shop. Clarkson has never been part of that, having slipped through the corridors years ago and like double jeopardy managed to hang on, but it was never going to be easy.