Geg Hopkins awarded Journalism recognition
October 2019: Geggyboy very recently received an award from His Royal Nibs. It was a Bahrain based award, not a Nobel Prize, but judging by the response, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was the latter.
Was I ecstatic? As a mere subject, the privilege of being up there and greeted by H,R,H. is always a belter of a thrill because it doesn’t happen very often at all! In the old days of a few hundred thousand population we got to see the Rulers a little more often and security was not an issue. But with a few million packed in now and world seemingly so much more upside down, these occasions are becoming very rare. Another nicety is that the PM will often have a personal little word to some of us by name (like his late brother and Amir; Sheikh Isa bin Salman Al Khalifa, they have uncanny memories and recall faces and names better than elephants). That personal touch makes me feel a bit special for being recognized, because I being far from Mr. Pushy, don’t expect it or even think about it, but I do know he knows me well and was a ‘fan’ so to speak from my heydays of radio.
I assume this award reflects some of those rather open and fun days before my tenancy was cut short by insidious intimidation from those not able to compete at my level, so ganged up and lowered the standard to the lowest common denominator to feed their deluded ego. (I went to TV afterwards, which unfortunately so few watch). This is what we have now with Broadcast Media in Bahrain at such an incredibly low ebb compared to the incredible openness, content full and fun days of the 80s and early 90s, that it was. Nowadays, it is inanity, twitter fed and absolute incompetently zero with an entire generation who know no different and actually believe it to be good still, having absolutely no inkling as to what entertaining radio should sound like. This is also happening all over the world as Political Correctness dominates and humour fades or becomes illegal and blandness prevails like a blanket of thick haze. Like banning something, it all goes underground and Social Media has provided that platform.
Radio was/is my passion though and I know many think it was the hierarchy who removed me, because of my antics and humour, but trust me, far far far from it… They were totally unaware, thinking it was me who resigned. If there is a God – retribution will surely prevail, for it was vicious! Though one man will be waiting for them upstairs, ready to dish out the divine punishment they um…er… gravely deserve. Mr. Ahmed Suleiman (father of Hala Ahmed Sulaiman) built Radio Bahrain to its earlier terrific standard, a standard which among us was wrongly diagnosed as amateur at the time, so striving for better content always, we were highly critical of ourselves. It was in fact world class, give or take the odd scruple. Oh, I made some crawl under a rock beauties, but we were aware. Today, it is the blinkered blind leading the blind with no perception of how amateur they come across having no qualified guidance to relate to. Ahmed loved my style from the start and ignored immense pressure to err to safety and blandness. For sure, he will never forgive those who manipulated and endlessly fought him to have me removed and indeed himself from time to time. He well knew the implications and future demise of the platform if he allowed the dirge to overpower him. Since his (forced) retirement and subsequent death (bless) many years ago now, mediocrity has all but destroyed his legacy, but he will always be remembered with great fondness.
But broadcast, be it right up to lunch time of the day of my demise, I guess I will be still at it. TV, Radio and now Social Media or whatever, is where I am and it is too late to change (unless someone offers a fat, no refusal salary vocation change, then I will empty bins, or sweep the streets – if my legs hold out, no worries).
Am I aware of how many follow my dribbles or mini reports or even the documentaries I do. Nah! I assume some incidental notice, here and there, but there is absolutely no delusion of this pseudo pap glitterati and new-fangled word; ‘Influencer’, some of which receive millions for just pointing at a lipstick in a selfie video shot whatever. It is all pish to me and iPhone level media.
Award? One perceives the so-called ‘broadcast standard’ or one doesn’t, it is art. I just love and at the same time hate what I do because of the time it takes to reach what I feel satisfied with. So to get a general award like this, along with the others, who also very much deserve recognition, albeit a very different avenue and style… Yep! It is bang on! I’ve got it and they are NOT having it back!
But did I realize the impact of it? NO! Not at all. I was oblivious until now. If you look at our Social Media accounts, they have gone slightly bananas. Just our Facebook Whodoeswhat.tv channel has lit up. Instagram likes are growing by the second. THANK YOU ALL!! THANK YOU – THANK YOU, we have read every single message and like!
Also a personal huge spot light up for Ahdiya Ahmed who is now leading the Bahrain Journalists Association and bringing them to the fore big time, where this has never really happened before. Ahdiya has always supported me (and others who might be lesser known) and often under some severe criticism and obstruction has had the biggest balls to ignore it and give me almost free reign at TV. With integrity, one must not knowingly break that trust. Of course it is par for the course to rattle someone’s cage in this business.
Many people; names I don’t actually know, all the way up to Royalty, who have gone out of their way to congratulate me, Numerous and incredibly personal congratulations have been received with the genuine warmth of ordinary citizens who may never come into diplomatic or royal circles. In this line of work we of course do by default as we make reports etc. for the Al Hilal Media group magazines and online channels and so on. Whatsapp messages have poured in, some telephoning me or indeed calling over at functions etc. along with others, then offering up congratulations. It is becoming astounding as to how the media surrounding this award has propagated.
Admittedly, I am a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to all this Social Media lingo – and although I might have a Twitter, Instagram et al account which I DON’T use, as I said before, it was NOT me that set them up but the IT wiz and (cough….Forbes Magazine featured photographer of Who Does What.TV,) namely Svetlana Prodanova who happens to be extremely proficient at it and she informed me today that we have gone a bit ‘viral’. I hope it doesn’t hurt. Wow!
OLD MAN’S RANT – BAHRAIN THIS MONTH – DECEMBER 2016
Happy National Day! What a wonderfully glittering consideration afforded to cosmopolitan Bahrain, so close to the commeth of Christmas and the time for gifts, drunken parties and New Year wishes with predictions. With Hillary now extinct, new born girl’s birth certificates are hurriedly being changed to Milania, her being one among the most well-formed and beautiful women of the world. Yet the main-stream media continues its suicidal, hideously biased and often petty quest at an astonishing rate and Social Media is choking itself. Still, Obama will probably be the second most popular name – over Mohammed in countries like the UK and across Europe while the name ‘George’ is gaining popularity within the Middle East. We will probably discover new Indian cold stores somewhere in the Universe and Gary Glitter will be released from jail and join the Vatican. Talking of which, on his first day in prison, his cell-mate asked him why his trousers looked so small, to which Glitter replied; ‘They’re not mine’.
With Trump in, many will be depressed and some on medication under the doctor, or on top in the case of Bill. Boldly and commendably, The Donald has offered olive branches, but one suspects there will be no marriage made in heaven between him and many of his own party, especially Mitt (The Mormon – that’s MORMON) Romney. It will be more akin to the tender love expressed between two gays with haemorrhoids.
Trump’s victory was a blatant public reaction, a kick in the media’s teeth. ‘CNN’ were and still are on massive doses of Viagra for Hillary as if inciting a violent uprising. They are not alone; ‘France 24’ openly express consolation for rioters and so it goes. The arrogance is seemingly divine for they never learn. Despite their bloody noses, the BBC high among them, the absolutely pathetic CNN (along with the rest), are not so subliminally wishing for a Donald Trump fatality in the new year; that in between bleating on and on about the heathen Brexiteers. After all, if Donald Trump was such the misogynist, fornicator and grabber of parts the others cannot reach, as he has been ‘falsely’ vilified to be – and actually does get whacked (God forbid), then imagine the queue of inadequates grabbing the bits listed on his ‘donor card’. He can’t win either way. If he’d saved the life of a drowning lady by administering CPR, she’d have him in court for pressing on her angina. What a lynch story that would be for the scurrilous, cesspit media.
Talk about indoctrination; even Pidgin English speakers (that will be the rest of the world then) have learned a new word; ‘misogynist’. No, not only can’t they say it properly, they don’t know what it means, but for the record it goes something like; ‘If a man talks dirty to a woman, that’s sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that’ll be $10 a minute’.
Media and advertising in the Gulf is generally so bland, so poor, so biased, so sycophantic and just inane food for the masses, thus the temperate laureates among us take little notice. It is pretty much the same in the rest of the world these days. Each platform or newspaper regurgitate the same old agenda, picking on flaccid nothingness desperate to generate a reaction. As with the giant ego of pop stars and actors who will do absolutely anything for attention, even commit suicide (we wish! Sit down at the back Mr.Limbaugh).
Enter a smattering of smut. If the column began with a gripping story line such as; “I felt shattered, it had been a trying day on the catwalk. I showered and crawled into bed, leaving my bra and panties scattered about the floor. Knowing my fiancé would return any time, I was comfortable and switched off the light. I was asleep as soon as my feet hit the pillow. Suddenly I was awakened by the sound of shuffling coming from the passage. I was drowsy, I tried to focus, I felt vulnerable as I fumbled for the side light; and there he was, this towering three-legged Negro’. Just sayin’.
In fact to improve the old hacks standards, we introduced Betty a couple of months back and she is still on probation. However, she inadvertently left her locker door open and we noticed hanging inside was a nurse’s outfit, a French Maid’s costume and to our disbelief even a police woman’s uniform. Well Mr. Middleton (Chairman) is right to assume that if she can’t hold a job down, how long is she going to last here?
So where do we go now? During ‘Obama’s last stand’ back in April, when addressing the smug faces of the journalists fraternity at the “White House Correspondents’ Dinner Roast”; ‘Roast’ being the double entendre, the hacks were mega confident that Hillary would walk it. Nonchalantly swinging his head to one side, Obama came out with; ‘Journalism is a respected trade and often requires bravery, integrity and putting oneself on the line. And then there’s CNN’! Jeers! Obama was almost funny as he praised Michelle saying that; ‘Imagine Trump as President with his First Lady sitting where Michelle is now. It’s anyone’s guess who she will be…but…’ to hoots of laughter. Imagine Trump coming back at him with; ‘Don’t worry, Michelle is being replaced by an immigrant’.
Next month; “The Great Showbiz Migration to Karnataka…. Sorry Kanada… tch! CANADA!!! The land that wants to ban farting and all reference to it. You just can’t wait!
OLD MAN’S RANT – BAHRAIN THIS MONTH – NOVEMBER 2016
NOV 2016
Well It is all over bar the riots as the endless sewerage spill sloshes down the gutters outside the Whitehouse over the next four years. Sentiments still run savage like a hurricane called ‘Haemo’ through partisan veins. What fun!
Just a thought, why didn’t Chuck Norris join the fray, he’s a red-blooded Texan Republican, a saint, virtuous to the Nth and all things super and wouldn’t recognize a fine rack if they were resting on his nose. We are talking about the man who can hear sign language. When Chuck Norris was born, he cut and knotted his own umbilical. He once punched an unruly horse on the chin which created the giraffe. Chuck is the only man who can count to infinity – twice. He makes onions cry and Big Foot claims to have seen him. Chuck Norris makes Simon Cowell cower and he sleeps with a pillow under his gun. What better man to be President?
Oddly, the expected last minute putsch to save us all by Kanye West and Kim Kardashian didn’t materialise, but don’t worry four years will pass quite quickly and the next candidate holding agenda credentials will surface. Rumour has it that all forgiven OJ Simpson will stand; or at the other end of the scale – by a universe, the brilliant Stephen Hawking who is currently being groomed and his birth certificate forged. Up against them will be a one-legged lesbian midget of Hispanic and Inca descent who holds no birth certificate; who raped and murdered 10 people in self-defence; having obtained early release on compassionate grounds – that being she suffers with Downs’s syndrome, but nonetheless was once the Financial Controller of the Clinton Foundation. Betty, who we introduced last month, puts her money on the latter. After all, Lola is the only mentally and physically challenged lesbian left in the world without a job as the BBC and CNN have employed the rest.
What was the ethical difference between Hillary and Donald? Well it was like asking how one tells the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer. They simply taste different. A woman making suggestive remarks or jokes about a man or otherwise is considered perfectly acceptable, but for a man to strut his stuff as almost EVERY man has since the Big Bang, it becomes derogatory and OMG; ‘so offensive’. Help! Cried the vestal apocryphal virgins. I’m being objectified! There they were, thousands of unfortunately unattractive, dumpy ladies, full of silicon or Botox and walking adverts for Max Factor, bleating their disdain for this monster. Many skimpily dressed at that, sporting cleavages Brunel would be proud to build a suspension bridge across. ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all’? ‘Um…The Klu Klux Klan has vacancies’.
Such sick hypocrisy! What was Bill’s proposal line to Hillary? ‘YOU’RE WHAT?’ Someone should ask Hillary if she’s reached her fiftieth read through ’50 Shades of Grey’ yet.
PC yuckspeak has successfully turned Western Nations into wussies (in public anyway). The bloated catharsis set off the pathetic frenzy; they came out the woodwork by the bandwagon and the cesspit sucking media drove it home; richly glamourizing themselves first to go before the camera with their gutter shovelling credentials. ‘Don’t look at my well-packaged breasts but I might occasionally uncross my legs’. ISIS were denied airtime and the very loud bang off North Korea didn’t get a look in.
So proud is Hillary of her support group, such as despised mouth piece, well-fed fur trader Rosie O’Donnel, who desperately wishes she had a pair, who had the gall to constantly make disparaging remarks about Donald the downtrodden. O’Donnel isn’t, has never been, will never be remotely witty in any sense. However, another full-blown hypocritical mouthy comedienne, Canadian Samantha Bee, who certainly can be funny, gets her tirade against Trump well-publicized and then happily emulates him by clocking a gentleman’s wedding tackle and expressing wanton awe at the size. She says; ‘Look at the clackers on him, I could reach in and grab them! I bet they clack like a Newton’s cradle’. To ridicule her hypocrisy further, her show is called ‘Full Frontal’. Now what on earth does that imply? Stop Laughing Hillary!
Even richer than caviar coated molasses; Republican Terminator ‘I vill be bach’ Arnold Schwarzenegger, had the stallion sized cajones to come out against Trump, condemning his desirous dalliances when there are endless examples (some in video) of his own very grubby male prowess harassing the fairer sex. Probably on the same network.
America; you certainly are the land of opportunity. With the bowel movements of a giant wind farm slung at you day after day, it ‘aint fun being a Presidential Candidate, but their egos adore it. Trump’s ‘mandate’ was exactly that; ‘Me man – you date’ and he courted it, but Hillary perseveres with any notion of shame removed through lobotomy and an ego as big as the sun’s aura and gonads to match. Thick skinned? Well, contriteness just doesn’t compute. Even our very own David Bloomer or Ian Fisher couldn’t take that sort of critique without at least wincing just a little bit.
OLD MAN’S RANT – BAHRAIN THIS MONTH – SEPTEMBER 2016
There is nothing more inaccurate than the notion that ‘English is the international language’. It is NOT English, it is a concoction of ‘pidgin’ droppings and bad grammar which is fine and dandy in conversation or buying something in a shop but it should be kept well away from influential broadcast/media, schools or nannies for that matter. Why is gold so precious? Well, it takes a large population of millions to produce just one artistic genius or any vocation for that matter, but when there is no perceived qualification required for the intangible arts or product, then standards disintegrate to dust eventually. Advertising (an art) and broadcasting (an art) in all its forms in Bahrain and across the region so often produces hideous embarrassment. “FEELING STATION NOW OPEN” – sounds like an interesting place. Sing song news readers and old but gold; ‘A navy jet crashed in the North Sea this afternoon but the pilot ejaculated to safety’, well lucky him. We have presenters, spieling nonsensical garbage and zero content respectively about the time and frequency aimed at 5 year-olds. Welcome to Bahrain. It wasn’t like this 25 years ago.
Sadly, awareness is near zero too. Huge banners on every lamppost proclaiming; ‘NEWER AIRCRAFTS”, shop signs with “WELCOM ENGLISH SPORKEN HERE” – “KNOW BARKING ON BAYMUNT” and newspaper classifieds; “SOFA AND BED SHIT FOR SELLING”. Familiar? We even have ‘MILF TAILORING’? Now the mind boggles. It is not just Bahrain;BUT WE SHOULD BE RISING ABOVE THIS with so much more pride. That is difficult when a huge chunk of the population are expatriates many of which can’t write their own language let alone speak a modicum of Arabic or English.
There is not a mother tongue English speaker who understands what ‘brosted’ means, but whatever it is they do it to chickens. The British or American DO NOT ‘avail’ themselves of anything except in a massage parlour perhaps- and please don’t call us ‘pumpkins’ with your endless pishy, same script radio commercials. This bastardized English is all over the world, on every street and in all households now, with the Indian accent the most dominant. How quick was that? It was just a short decade ago, that only the dexterous Dutch spoke English fluently enough for commerce, without the aid of American movies. The British were so grateful especially if they just shouted louder to be understood in foreign countries. The rest of world were still singing Frère Jacques and struggling with ‘Dick and Dora’. Fortunately, most Bahrainis speak an amount of English and the Arabic flavor compared to some country accents is quite pleasing to hear ‘in conversation’, especially soft-spoken female.
At great risk of shattering the egos and delusions of some of the nicest guys one could meet – having this heavy accented farrago broadcast-pumped into one’s ears by the likes of the BBC or our own local radio and TV, generally and tediously tires one out as quaint as it sometimes sounds. The ‘IFOLD TOWWER’ and ‘ION FISHER’ sort of have a ring to them. The appalling IVR systems (Interactive Voice Response) are just atrocious, but nobody cares or perceives it as bad and culprits innocently can’t hear themselves. Conversely, a foreign presenter speaking broken Arabic has more chance of Stealing Mozart’s Yamaha synthesizer from the back seat of his Lamborghini in a shopping mall, than being accepted to broadcast on an Arabic channel. So why torture the English?
We now have Radio Bahrain amateurishly advertising on its own airwaves for DJs and presenters, knowing full well they mean only Bahraini need apply. This will not improve quality, professionalism or bring the art to any perceived standard ‘to aspire to’ whatsoever. In fact, having to advertise for talent on your own airwaves, is totally unheard of and unethical anywhere else and really does depict the level of absent professionalism.
All major countries have ‘professional’ English channels with native language speakers anchoring. It is all for international ‘POLITICAL CREDIBILITY’, not just because a few expats are resident. If there is to be an English language station, then hire proficient, professional, “talented” English speakers (of any nationality) and stop all the inept jingoism.
Bottom line; slick professionalism and boodles of content are what’s needed to create something to aspire to, not more mumbo jumbo, which so few listen to, especially with the might of the Internet crushing radio and TV to insignificance if it doesn’t compete at extraordinary levels of competence. Sadly, there is about as much chance of attaining such a desired mature platform here as seeing a transgender toilet installed in the City Centre.
Radio Bahrain was a tower in its heyday (not a towwer), until that fell down one day – and loved to death with an air of freedom and wellbeing and fabulous for tourism. But wannabe amateurs and wholly incompetents, flying the National Flag, given gauche positions in authority reigned. Naturally intimidated by the few sitting competent they gradually committed a sort of genocide, cleaning out any potential threats. It is now an oblivious embarrassment so just close it down if you can’t provide the goods.